Artists consumer reports

Consumer Reports: Edward Shenk

Edward Shenk.

Edward Shenk.

Edward Shenk is a New York-based artist from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, working in a variety of media including digital print, sculpture, video, poetry, and publishing. He recently staged an exhibition of “King Of The Hill fan gaze removals” (also a book) in collaboration with Victor Vaughn at James Fuentes in New York and is currently putting the finishing touches on a three-part trailer for the Nordic Biennial of Contemporary Art (in collaboration with Brad Troemel). In 2016 Shenk will be a published children’s book author.

Do you know how to play the Antiques Roadshow drinking game? Shenk will show you how in this jam-packed week that includes YouTube playthroughs for the cult game Riven and a handwritten list of the best REM tracks. All this and just a touch of gold old-fashioned cyber-bullying. Read below! —John Chiaverina

Wednesday, April 1

10 a.m.

Awake. Go to Pirate Bay. Torrented the Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber. Fell back asleep to it.

2 p.m.

Wake up. Look at some of these past Consumer Reports. Wow, it’s an honor to be featured alongside such compelling, prestigious, and compelling artists like Jeanette Hayes. Wow!!

2:30 p.m.

Stare at this prop site. Trying to figure out if they rent/sell these props or simply archive them. This prop is from my favorite Saw trap, the Pig Vat Trap.

2:40 p.m.

Enchanted by this image. A K’nex mock-up of the Reverse Bear Trap Mask:


3:30 p.m.

Watched Youtube videos “Riven ep1: Playthrough with Luetin,” “Riven ep2: Playthrough with Luetin,” and “Riven ep3: Playthrough with Luetin.” Been wanting to watch Riven playthrough for a while now, but Luetin is a very, very slow-paced Brit for an already very, very slow paced game. Need something somewhere between this and a speedrun. Regardless, I like how Ghen is obsessed with the number 5 , and how his recline into dementia is emulated in his construction of Riven. Find myself missing the scenery-chewing wackiness of Achenar and Sirrus from first Myst though.

5 p.m.

Watch “Piano Tutorial: Tool – Schism” on Youtube.

5:20 p.m.

Recheck Wells Fargo and for tax refund. (Not yet.)

5:30 p.m.

Next while spent watching/downloading Youtube vids, ordering gigs on Fiverr, and creating cartoons on my business account at GoAnimate. I’m making the trailer for the Nordic Biennial along with Brad Troemel. A lot of my time over this Report period is spent collecting/animating footage and editing video.

The GoAnimate stuff is pretty inspired by the ‘Eric Gets Grounded’ videos on YT.

Here are two of my favorites:

Eric Makes His School Vaporwave And Gets Grounded
Eric Goes to the Bathroom Naked and Gets Grounded

8 p.m.

Watch chakra videos.

9 p.m.

Finish work on this clip:

11:40 p.m.

Just realized it’s April Fools’ Day.

Thursday, April 2nd

12:30 a.m.

RSVP’d for sister’s wedding on Dinner options are:

– Chicken breast with wild mushroom ragout
– Herb crusted salmon in bearnaise sauce
– Butternut squash ravioli

1:20 a.m.

First time leaving house since March. Buy Smartfood popcorn and Coors Lite.

1:30 a.m.

Finally respond to dumb pic Borna @tweeted.

Screen shot 2015-04-16 at 11.36.26 AM

1:32 a.m.

I miss Borna.

4 a.m.

Revisited this, written half-asleep last week on ATM receipt:

Screen shot 2015-04-16 at 11.38.11 AM

5:30 a.m.

HP crashed twice.

Screen shot 2015-04-16 at 11.40.22 AM

5:45 a.m.

Watch some Million Dollar Extreme videos.

Screen shot 2015-04-16 at 11.41.19 AM

7 a.m.

Didn’t sleep. Stared at Adobe Premiere screen, edited, and tried to free up space on my computer until morning.

Play Metallica’s “One” as I reread this.

2 p.m.

Go to Brad’s to work on trailer. I recently bought a beautiful camera, a Sony CX900, and I record some footage of him wearing a fedora and Guy Fawkes mask.

4:30 p.m.

More info and video gathering. My life has been consumed by editing and script writing for the past 2 months. As well as releasing a book, which I will plug here:

Screen shot 2015-04-16 at 11.44.24 AM

“KOTH Vol. I” by Victor Vaughn and Edward Shenk
Containing every image from our series King’s Hill.
Screen shot 2015-04-16 at 11.46.57 AM

7 p.m.

Compile list.


7:35 p.m.

Friend Nate Waggoner texts me to tell me about this upcoming movie, Entertainment. I look it up. It stars one of my very favorites, Neil Hamburger, and is directed by Rick Alverson, who made the amazing movie, The Comedy. Pretty excited. I read about that for a little bit I guess.


11 p.m.

Victor forwards me this exceptionally beautiful spam email:

Screen shot 2015-04-16 at 11.55.27 AM

Way better than my dumb drunk poem.

11:40 p.m.

Twitter– All i really want to know is– why wasnt Tituba invited to judy chicago’s dinner party?

Friday, April 3

Slept all Friday. Had a dream. Was watching a film from my parents’ generation. Very violent. This woman had been on the lamb, and was finally tracked down by this vigilante lady. The tracker revealed a scalpel that was 17 inches long. The first woman was made to kneel before her, and some goon held out her eyelids by the lashes. The vigilante slit her eyelids off with the scalpel, and told her, kinda oddly apologetically, that her tears would harden into new eyelids in 5 days.

9:45 p.m.

Woke up. All I’ve had to eat in past 36 hours is popcorn, beer, and a borrowed slice of pizza.

Place order on Seamless.

From Sushi Tatsu II:

– Miso Soup
– Cucumber Salad
– Chicken Satay
– Oshinko Roll
– Tuna Cucumber Roll
– Eel & Avocado Roll
– Vanilla Ice Cream

10 p.m.

Find out Trivia Crack is available on Facebook. I have no smartphone so this is very exciting. Play TC and listen to “The End” by the Doors on repeat until food comes.

10:25 p.m.

Buy more lives for Trivia Crack for $0.99.

10:30 p.m.

10:33 p.m.

10:38 p.m.

10:40 p.m.

HP crashes.

10:50 p.m.

Check Wells Fargo again for refund. Nothing.

11 p.m.

Receive this gig from Fiverr:

11:30 p.m.

Cyberbullied people I haven’t seen since high school to play Trivia Crack with me. Made fun of their dumb marriage and ultrasound photos and whack kids. I know that’s not super nice but I’m trying to treat this Report honestly.

Fall back asleep thinking about the cover to A Wrinkle in Time for some reason.


Saturday, April 4

2 p.m.

Listen to “Sinnerman” by Nina Simone.

4 p.m.

Meet my girl Gabriela at Penn Station. LIRR to Babylon for Easter weekend with her family. We played Mad-Libs on her phone on the train. I bought a bag of shelled peanuts and made a horrible mess.

7 p.m.

Watched Forensic Files on HLN.

Forensic Files is one of my favorite shows. HLN plays marathons of it all the time, which I really appreciate. My favorite crime shows are Unsolved Mysteries, Forensic Files, and Cold Case Files (Bill Kurtis’ voice is intoxicating). Investigation Discovery could learn a lot from these three.

An Open Letter to i-D (Investigation Discovery):

– If a show is an hour long it should either have 2 cases or focus on a serial killer
– Not every recreation actor should be good-looking–in fact–quite often the opposite
– Stop pretending there are more twists to a murder investigation than there actually are

9:30 p.m.

Bookmarked this Triage Tape Set with Tape Holder. Easy access for triage nurses in training.


Sunday, April 5

11 a.m.

Wake up. Had a dream I was at Home Depot. The building it was in was purposely unfinished. Huge slats of concrete wall were missing to reveal the insulation, wiring, and skeleton of the building in graduated succession. These areas were encased in plexi so as to protect the interior of the building from the elements. I woke up thinking this was a super good idea for Home Depot, and Lowe’s for that matter, to demonstrate all the projects that they could accommodate there. Half store/half museum.

I’m not as excited about the idea as I was at the time, but I try not to harsh on my dreams. They’re free.

2 p.m.

Had too much food and drink and feel sick. Ate shrimp cocktail, asparagus pie, cacciatorini salami, parmigiano-reggiano cheese, glazed ham, lamb with gravy, salad, glutenless cupcakes, and 3 brownies. Drank Coronas and red wine/Coca-Cola.

2:15 p.m.

Look up the name for red wine and Coke: kalimotxo.

3 p.m.

Watch the 2007 Alvin and the Chipmunks movie starring Jason Lee. It’s okay I guess. Theodore is easily the cutest and steals the show.


I don’t like Alvin. He’s supposed to be the instigator of the group but he’s fucking annoying and pretty uncreative. Definitely the most forgettable. Jason Lee’s “ALLL-VIN!” scream is the most labored thing and really takes me out of the movie.

4 p.m.

Despicable Me comes on after and I can’t stand it. Voice actors include Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig, two people I am sick of fucking seeing and in my opinion really have no choice but to go into hiding for a couple decades to save their credibility. Like Salman Rushdie, or some person who likes to hide an awful lot.

9 p.m.

Play drinking game with Gabi’s family to Antiques Roadshow. Rules: try to guess actual appraisal values without going over. Whoever is closest wins. Everyone else has to drink cabernet sauvignon. Whenever the host appears and says his weird name, everyone has to drink.


11 p.m.

Property Brothers on HGTV. I love this show. As my Forensic Files phase has plateaued, PB has quickly taken its place. It’s like Winklevoss twins/Dwell magazine/The Odd Couple.

I love how Drew disappoints right off the bat by showing couples their dream home only to reveal that it’s twice their budget. And how Jonathan always makes the couple remove old toilets. This show is a good show. I’ve learned so much vocab: wainscoting, popcorn ceiling, knob and tube, open concept…

All that being said, they decorate every single house the exact freaking same. Everything in a safety blue/grey palette and bubble chandeliers out the yin-yang. They are horrible designers.


Eventually I fell asleep.

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