Artists consumer reports

Consumer Reports: Chris Lux

Chris Lux.

Chris Lux. Photo By tktk.

Chris Lux is a painter and sculptor who lives and works in San Francisco. He has had recent solo exhibitions at Jupiter Woods, London; Stussy, Tokyo; Oakland Museum, Oakland, California; Muddguts, New York; Popular Workshop, San Francisco; and Jancar Jones, Los Angeles. His most recent show, “Postcards…from a Museum of Gas,” is on view on both floors of Interstate Projects in Brooklyn until June 7.

For the entirety of Lux’s Consumer Reports, the artist was in New York City, sleeping on couches at other people’s houses. That didn’t stop him from a robust week of media consumption, though. Sinatra ringtones are downloaded and Instagram check-ins are frequent. Additionally, the origins of Kermit the Frog and the Felicity theme song are touched upon. And if imported snack foods count as media (they probably should), those are consumed as well. More below! —John Chiaverina

Tuesday, May 12

10:35 a.m.

After sharing a bed with my friend Augustus Thompson in Manhattan, I wake up to a text from ARTnews reminding me to start the diary thing.

I immediately get texts from Ben Loeffler and Cory Scozzari demanding we go to the Soho House pool. They want to bring 30 strangers with them. I dread the idea. I have no shorts and fear getting a bloody nose while swimming. I check Instagram and find a few new likes on my Dr. Duddempudi picture. I watch porn on my phone and leave my friend’s house unlocked, which feels weird. The combo.

11:37 am

I’m on a bus now playing Candy Crush, I think about how Nick DeMarco said if you wanna be a real New Yorker you have to play Candy Crush on the train. I’m on a bus tho, and I play it at home anyway, I like it. This bus is going to the wrong place.

1:12 p.m.

Emailing Aaron Harbour from Et al gallery. I have to meet him tomorrow and I’m confused about what’s happening. He has a three hour delay in San Francisco. I’m sitting by the pool at Soho House. I’d go swimming but I’m pretty sure I’d get diarrhea or a bloody nose if I got in the pool. Ben Loeffler, Cory Scozzari and Charlie Stravinsky just changed into swimsuits. I find it oppressive here. I have a membership from trading a painting.

Ben shows me this art video from Japan that he is really into because it has one view on YouTube only. A man spins around on the floor naked wearing stockings.

He tells me his media consumption is more interesting than mine. I’m sure he is right.

1:47 p.m.

I take a picture of Ben with his shirt off by the pool and send it to my friend Tom Rockwell whom he is dating in San Francisco. I accidentally send it to Tom Weinrich from Interstate Projects who is slaving away making stretchers and plinths for tomorrow. I feel like an asshole. Although I’d rather be working than here tbh. Ben makes me send it to him also. A conversation ensues about custom vape noises.

3:20 p.m.

Walking around all day now. Exhausted and nowhere to stay, Cory and Charlie have left. Now it’s just me and Ben checking our separate Instagram in some tiny park while people do yoga on top of each other. I am dehydrated and confused. Three new likes on Instagram. I have no idea who these people are. One is a grandma from Australia. How do they find it? I think the city may be swallowing me. I wonder if people get bedbugs from laying in the grass.

4:13 p.m.

Played candy crush soda and rainbow something or other on the r train to go see Ex Machina in Brooklyn with Ben. Conquered a hard level that involved rainbows and freeing bears.

6:29 p.m.

I just saw Ex Machina. Rare for me to go to the movies, honestly, but feeling good after. It’s basically Jurassic Park and Her combined. Liked the drunk parts. Honestly, I could relate a lot with the theme of staying at other people’s houses.

9:35 p.m.

Watching baseball on an Xbox at my friends couch while buying an airline ticket. Trying to figure out how to buy a ticket so I can fly back home on my GF’s flight. Very complex. Creeping on the Nepenthes site thinking about this glitter sweatshirt still. Probably gonna buy it.

Wednesday, May 13

6:31 a.m.

Woke up to my iPod playing some podcast about the death of a Kenyan MP. Checked Instagram. Def. going back to sleep.

8:40 a.m.

Wake up again via alarm. Check Instagram. See a picture of Spongebob all dehydrated. I can relate. I go snort some water up my nose.

9:10 a.m.

I go pick up my laundry across the street at then buy two Sunspel white t-shirts on eBay of the for $5 each. I am finally watching this video Ben set me last night of a man blowing giant vape clouds outside to a Pearl Jam soundtrack.

Vaping just makes me want to smoke. I don’t even have a vape. I’m not into vape stuff at all.

12:05 p.m.

Got an email from eBay that my t-shirt order was shipped. Pretty fast. I must say, I’m impressed. Installing at NADA.

12:59 p.m.

Take a break from installing to watch Tom from Interstate’s truck. Check Instagram. Look at eBay. Consider buying more of the same t-shirt shirt.

8:00 p.m.

Now I’m walking around Frieze and my GF is texting me about her clothes. Posted a video of me hitting a baseball at the batting cages next door to the fair.

10:30 p.m.

I just rode on a boat (!). Laying in bed at my friend Emanuel Krantz’s house with Ben and Cory. Just watched a video of someone shoving two Oreos in their foreskin. I think Ben would be better at this project than me. Basically just writing about things he shows me.

1:56 a.m.

Now sitting in a 24-hour cafe checking Instagram and eating a grilled cheese.

Thursday, May 14

10:10 a.m.

Just woke up. Learning about the whole pink slime McDonald’s thing. I feel very behind on this.

12:11 p.m.

Just watched a video for the classic song “My Boyfriends Back,” by the Angles.

Thinking about re-recording it but changing the lyrics to “my girlfriends back, and I’m gonna lick her butthole.” Very horny today and excited to see GF.

12:39 p.m.

Alice Wetterlund left a comment on my photo that used the word “TOMBOUT” that I had to look it up. It means “talking about.” Not sure if I could use that?

3:09 p.m.

Just took a nap, woke up and I was listening to a podcast about India’s billionth baby. Apparently she has a big birthday every year.

4:40 p.m.

Spent some time on the couch looking at the paintings of Cuno Amiet and Jean-Pierre Cassigneul on tumblr, on my phone. Ben is next to me obsessing about insomnia cookies.

6:33 p.m.

I just got back from leaving my phone at home to charge and trying to find a restaurant that I didn’t know the name of. It worked out. Very interesting social experiment. Had to explain to Ben what life was like before cell phones. Both very proud of ourselves for going one hour in foreign place w/o phone. Now checking Instagram incessantly to see if anyone noticed my pee-colored wall at NADA. They have not.

9:10 p.m.

Just downloaded the “New York” by Frank Sinatra text tone to celebrate being in The Big Apple.

Nick DeMarco keeps texting me “start spreading the news.” I love this song.

1:47 a.m.

At some bar called Beverley’s. Looking at the Instagram “memes of church” nonstop for the last 20 min. Is Kermit The Frog synonymous with memes where the punch line is “well it’s non of my business?” There are a lot of “memes of church” that use it. Reminds me, I just listened to a podcast about the origins of Kermit The Frog earlier today. Apparently he was just a sock that resembled a lizard in his first incarnation. Henson was doing weird puppet shit with Kermit for 20 years before the muppet show aired. I find inspiration in that fact. Apparently it first aired in England, news to me. GF is here now.

Friday, May 15

7:51 a.m.

Woke up early. Looking at the gram. Looking at someone’s account I really want unfollow. I don’t even think they are following me back but they are following every single person I know so I must assume they are…. Idk, I’m going back to sleep…

9:20 a.m.

Laying in bed again. It’s so nice getting texts and hearing my Frank Sinatra ringtone. “Start spreading the news.” Looking at the paintings of Christian Rohlfs, and reading an article about whistle blowers. Poor whistle blowers.

2:25 p.m.

Just posted a pic on Instagram of a woman wearing rollerblades in a store. Almost cheating on this, def. gonna break 100 likes. If you post anything ’90s it’s guaranteed likes. People love anything early ’90s, but only the dumb stuff, like roller blades, pop music, bad fashion. So sick of it.

2:44 p.m.

Went out to get snacks and ran into this place that carries all different kinds of imported snack foods. They even had my favorite: Mars Mix. Basically Mars Bars in ball form. I got that and some Marmite chips, or crisps. I then went home and googled Mars Mix and found this lovely blog about the newest English cake called Grocery Gems. I learnt about milkshake flavored cake, evening yoghurt, new Haribo stuff, Doritos Roulette… Bookmarked it.

9:30 p.m.

Went to see Cory Scozzari’s BF Huw Lemmey read from his new book “CHUBZ” at my installation at Interstate Projects. I liked how Nigel Farage was a character in it. Now eating fancy (!) pizza.

12:45 p.m.

Ended up NOT going to the party everyone is at at China Chalet even tho it was described to my GF as this generation’s Studio 54. Feel like shit so I’m just gonna roll around in a nasty pile of Netflix until I pass out. Ben left and with it his nasty obsession with the show Supernatural, which is maybe the worst show I have ever seen in my entire life. And apparently there are 10 seasons? How on earth.

Saturday, May 16

12:46 p.m.

Just woke up. Check Instagram, email, blah blah. Texting about brunch. Still feeling shit.

5:52 p.m.

Walking around East Village with Cory Scozzari and Huw Lemmey and went to a squatter/ community garden museum. Consider posting some Sesame Street-esque shots of a Filipino religious parade I saw in the East Village. I decide against it.

6:08 p.m.

Just remembered I watched this episode of Law and Order SVU (season 15, episode 13, “Betrayal’s Climax”) last night, about a girl who is gang raped in front of her boyfriend who’s at gun point, and she has orgasms during it, and never had one with her boyfriend before, so now it’s really awkward? Fuck. I’m sorry but that is a fucked-up plot. I get the whole involuntary orgasm during rape awareness part of it, but honestly I just have a cold and I’m trying to kill some time. SVU. Jesus. Now googling the origin of the saying “hand to mouth.”

10:01 p.m.

Just at Beverly’s – again :( – checking Instagram. Hashtags and all of it. God.

1:39 a.m.

Went to a party. Checked Instagram. Samara Golden was there and I googled her to show her work to someone else at the party. I didn’t talk to her.

Sunday, May 17

2:02 p.m.

Just woke up and checked Instagram. Texts about having go back to NADA to grab stuff I left there is filling my soul with dread. Somehow I seem to have made a million plans for today and getting calls like this and having to flake is stressing me out.

2:37 p.m.

Caught GF looking at Instagram on train with no service. Very dark.

5:17 p.m.

Went to MoMA. Took a picture of a Jackson Pollock and was going to post it with a comment about how everything in MoMA is so obviously a fake. Didn’t do it tho. Should have.

6:18 p.m.

Just went back to NADA to grab stuff. Desperately checking Instagram for more likes on the booth. Sigh. Also FYI Google Maps has been used a lot this week. Like 10 plus times a day.

6:56 p.m.

Looking at Seditionaries clothes online while stuck on the Williamsburg bridge. Some guy on a scooter just passed us screaming “I came in like a wreaking balllllll…”

10:18 p.m.

Went to dinner with Cameron Soren and Melissa Sachs and Nick DeMarco and GF, topics covered were, but not limited to: why is Martin Short not in everything and the Martin Short movie where he is a kid. Mostly we just talked about Martin Short. Posted a cool black and white video of Cameron and Melissa walking up to meet us. So far 30 likes. Very low. :( I did a bad job editing it. Idk. It’s hard.

11:20 p.m.

Just watched Game of Thrones, thought to myself, what about Game of Ramones, googled it and yes it already exists and it sucks.

12:18 a.m.

Emma Whistler just told me that Andrew Jarecki wrote the theme song for Felicity.

11:54 a.m.

Woke up to a dead phone. Once it was charged got a message from Emanuel Krantz telling me he liked the sculpture I left for him. He just screwed it right into the wall.

4:40 p.m.

At the Met, pretty sure all these paintings are also fake. I’d say 85% of the art in this museum are fakes.

4:44 p.m.

Saw the Pierre Huyghe video again at the Met. Untitled, (Human Mask) AKA Monkey with mask on. Aren’t we all just monkeys with masks on? Aren’t we all just monkeys with masks on in an abandoned post apocalyptic Japanese town?

Hmmmm. It would be sick if your name was George O’Keeffe.

5:48 p.m.

Just made an original meme about how all the art in museums are totally fake. This may be my least popular post of all time, we will see.

7:58 p.m.

Just saw chef Bobby Flay on the street. Wow.

11:50 p.m.

Was talking about my fav thing on the Internet I saw today, the picture of the dorky doctor that looks like Drake. I love it. It looks so much like Drake.


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