If you’re wondering what to get that special someone for Valentine’s Day, dearest reader, might I suggest the Marina Abramović dinnerware collection for Bernardaud? No?
Come on. Give it a shot, people. Here’s what Abramović said about it in a statement: “To me, the act of eating implies pure simplicity, so I used decorations that are minimal and personal.” To me, eating implies massively complicated buffets followed by long hours of physical discomfort and self-loathing, but hey–I never once suggested you should buy this stuff for me, so stop putting words in my mouth. I mean, what do I know about you, really? Maybe your sweetheart is just super into fine utensils. It’s possible! Better yet, maybe he or she is a communist. “The star-shaped dish represents the communist star,” my press release about the dinnerware helpfully clarifies. This could all be true! And frankly, it’s none of my business what you’re into.
Then again, maybe this just isn’t a great gift idea for you. Honestly, I wouldn’t know. I’m not your personal shopper.